Saturday, January 17, 2009

Average Cost Of Cataract Surgery On Small Dog

SIFILISTRATA

SIFILISTRATA
As promised in my previous post public - with the permission of Agri Vercellensis Sovranus Ordo - the work's tragic SIFILISTRATA already presented above with a critical note. Wishing

fun to all renewal thanked his friend for having Anacreon delighted with this true gem!




PREFACE
The discovery of this work should be cited as an example of ingenuity and (not be denied) glutica fortune jokes. In fact, in the year 1969 + 15 took place in the funny that a shipment of Athens in order to know and admire the artistic beauty of ancient Hellas.

During a visit to the Acropolis, a ravenous phaseoli was seized by a powerful intestinal bloating and appartatosi near some ruins unfrequented crouched 'to give vent to his needs' physiological. It chanced that phaseoli to sit on the edge of a bronze casket that peeped from the ground, neglected, for some unknown reason, during previous excavations. The cries of pain phaseoli now defloration, attracted the attention of the group, and in particular by an excellent archbishop and an excellent bishop, regardless of the pain of phaseoli, were concerned exclusively with the mysterious artifact. Sensed the importance of the discovery, two excellent called to himself 'as well as two fetentissime' putridissime freshmen, which was given the order to dig up suddenly at the discovery, in order to fully bring to light the bronze casket.

completed the work and the bishop demanded archiepiscopo to freshmen, squires and knights to retreat in good order, and the presence of the eminent cardinals of the Holy Father and the Empyrean Senators, finally opened the mysterious hood.

Soon the air was filled with 'metifiche of flagrante delicto, the two excellences darkened a few steps more distance sucks. Having a blast providential restore calm and the air was shewn more 'breathing, these came to the curious case, to be viewed content. A yellowed papyrus

revealing 'the mystery of those serial numbers immediately smell (remember the old saying "Serial phoetens minus quam putata shit") trattavasi fact the remnant of farts (in number of 6969) dating from the fifth century BC by the famous greek poet Aristofane.Egli fact, angry about the intransigent attitude of the Athens against censorship of his play, in a fit of rage, had locked the manuscript in that casket, which had before sealing copiously filled with entries of smelly flatulence .

clarify the origin of the mysterious phenomenon both excellence and recognized Greek scholars of world fame, took the remaining papyri vision (many were unfortunately in pessime condizioni a causa della micidiale azione dei miasmi tra cui erano rimasti sepolti per secoli) scoprendo, fra lo stupore attonito dei presenti, che si trattava dell'inedita versione originale della ben nota LISISTRATA (e' bene chiarire che solo dopo un accurato studio successivo i due dotti goliardi si resero conto della somiglianza tra l'opera ritrovata e la nota commedia di Aristofane : infatti il titolo del manoscritto rinvenuto era, in realta', SIFILISTRATA .

Quindi Sua Santita' lieto del prezioso ritrovamento e d'accordo con l'Empireo Senato ed il collegio cardinalizio affido' alle due eccellenze il compito di tradurre l'opera e di renderle in buona metrica italiana.

Oggi, felici di annunciare la conclusione of our work, we submit to the kind attention of the reader the result of our labors in the hope you would please.

SE AERMINIUS Rapax ARCHIEPISCOPUS
SE ENOS longus episcopus

PROUD OF REPRESENTATIVES SOAVI




CONTENT OF 'OPERA
The story takes place in Athens in 469 a. C. When the women of Athens, Spartan and Theban, stoves fratricide wars, which moreover deprived of the affections 'close, they decide to unite in a singular fact protesta.Si agree to deprive their men of the joys of the thalamus, AS LONG' will not stop of warfare between them. At the end of their stubbornness takes over e tutto si conclude con la promessa, da parte maschile, di mettere da parte le armi.



PERSONAGGI
Sifilistrata          donna ateniese
Lambliasi           donna tebana
Culofica              donna tebana
Blenorreo           soldato ateniese
Paraculos           soldato ateniese
Tignesia             soldato ateniese
Gheyos              omosessuale ateniese
Araldo 
Coro donne
Coro uomini




SIFILISTRATA

Atto Primo
(Il sipario si alza con la visione di donne in fermento nella piazza principale di Atene)

Coro di donne
Vogliamo chiavare, vogliamo chiavare
siam stufe di stare quaggiu' a putrefare
l'uccello possente di ogni marito
sollazzi la fica al posto del dito
la fava nodosa di ogni consorte                                     5
spalanchi ad ognuna del culo le porte
il re orsu' ci tolga codesti fardelli
e presto ci renda gli adorati uccelli.

Sifilistrata
Oh women of Athens, oh blissful brides
you cunts horny and wet braking 10
the desire, unite together
war and 'the scourge that denies the seed
therefore hear' what v 'I have to say
so that' every mice did not rot.
The king our sire and 'old fool 15
even remembers what' erection
but in its noble dickhead
lurks a thought crazy by crazy
because he wants the domain absolute
on each bitch, on each horn 20
therefore 'for his stupid, absurd project
takes away our husbands out of bed
deprives us of the stallions' cocks
young man and I, frankly, I filled my balls.
For this reason, oh horny women, 25
from all over Greece have convened here
wives, daughters, and every girl
to make them understand what 'in my head whirl. Stan

here from every village and I can assure you that it is not 'a mirage 30
hope that those cocks that are far off or
return soon to pump in animals.

Chorus of women
Come ', Sifilistata, tell us, come on, we talk
pussy prude, but we just scraping
we have to use your hands 35
feel the need to want the hard banana
dicks uncontrollably
fill us all, we Tappin
therefore the cunt 'soon expose your clitoris solution
that we are' like a melon 40

(Meanwhile, women come from Sparta and Thebes)

Giardiasis (targeting Sifilistrata)
Son giardiasis, Spartan
am and will extend to here I made the cul
bell
walking and night '.
So I hope your 45 is a very good project

otherwise, my dear, I will make you
'to explore the rectum
'm' fucking hard wood
I carry always below 50
of my good mood because pregnant
'in the pussy I've already' made.

(Culofica also comes from Thebes)

Culofica
I come from Thebes in this time I
ass feta, pussy and 'nights in misery from
not sleep a bird yearning 55
it breaks my splits, I searched the gut. But they are coming here
that 'I want to know how
at last go back to enjoy the noble bird from each

dreamed that the war has long denied fucking. 60

A Chorus of Women Sifilistrata touches you tell us a bit about
's what we have to do
' cause the sun never touches us remain
and sweaty belly hand lead.

Sifilistrata
Hellenic women whose uterus quivers                   65
desiose di cazzo la vulva vi geme
ordunque vi spiego qual' e' il mio progetto
per non ritornare le verghe nel letto.
Sapendo che l'uomo l'augusta tenzone
rende arrapato si' come un montone,                70
neghiamogli dunque al ritorno quel vizio
di svellerci ognora l'angusto orefizio,
cosi' che pensando al nostro rifiuto
ritrovi quel senno in battaglia perduto.
Ritiri la spada il guerrier poderoso                    75
se ancor vuol sfogare lo membro voglioso.

Coro donne
Sei folle, sei pazza, sei fuori di testa
qual demone oscuro il culo ti impesta ?
Il ludo del cazzo da noi tanto amato
ci nega il disegno tuo scellerato.                         80
Si faccia astinenza di bere e mangiare
piuttosto che al fallo la gatta negare.

Lambliasi
Frenate le ire, i bollori calmate
soltanto con l'utero ormai voi pensate,
l'oraclo di Delfi avea dunque ragione                 85
fra donne e animali,non v'e' distinzione!
Invece ritengo sia molto sensato
all'uomo negare il bene more 'loved, and if
' the only way to make them understand that
more 'for the war should not go. 90

Culofica
For my itchy trigger
hard I am willing to bed will not give in!
Sara 'a great torment, will be' a sacrifice
but in my pussy I will not go 'the Picio!
I know 'which for me will be' a disappointment
95 but will prohibit 'access to even sit
I'm sure that will not be' in vain
deny us the solace of the hard banana.

Female choir
That Ares bastard explodes a jerk
must we recognize that you are right 100
whores the Fates have decided the fate
that instead of the finger member s'adopri.
Come ', proceed to the large greenhouse
ever since the battle is declared!

(Sifilistrata head of the chorus goes away, and giardiasis Culofica and head for their respective cities' to organize the revolt. The curtain falls on Act One.)

Act Two
(Paraculos and Blenorreo, soldiers Athens, returning from the war.)

Paraculos
final was' fuck this battle ended 105 hours
soon I'm going to give me a gun with the straw!

Blenorreo
But that barrel, but straw, I have big balls full of sperm
fucking want, do not even Pallas stop me!

Paraculos
You are wise, Blenorreo, copulate and 'great thing
vo' to flare the white legs of that dear, sweet wife! 110

(leave the scene. The two soon find themselves in a tavern in Athens.)

Blenorreo
The sag is the tits, vagina, the rupture, for the cause of
Sifilistrata, it 'is fucking her, it 'is pumped!
months are not fitted, I fight with honor
I hope that bitch in the ass, explodes the vibrator!

Paraculos
raining shit on Greece, rain shit for six months here ends 115
them against the wall will be hung cocks!
'Ste most cows are in agreement, cunt and ass are tight and do
soon we have condemned to martyrdom!

Blenorreo
I have a 120 that I do not want
or tallow, and after I come!

Paraculos
Mind you, Blenorreo that the sketches of banana
not take me in 'eye, ear or hand.
Blenorreo
Know then, O Paraculos, I
jerking off to war every day of my cock and I pulled at least seven
and 'light, where there was no woman to fill 125
but PEL here and even if the 'end refused' to go crazy!

(opens the door to the tavern and enter Gheyos known Athenian homosexual).

Gheyos
Hello, bold Achaeans

at this moment I knew that women,
give out of ourselves and all. 130
I know you are very tense
full of cum burst from
because 'already'
many months you want to fuck. But they're not angry
135
with the look in the glass
many already 'I
amusements with my ass hole.
more And if you 'do not hold to the desire to enjoy
140
come up soon and you will instantly
my sphincter. Seize the opportunity

swear that they will not contract
'syphilis, they' drain 145
and more 'then you will be pleased.
Come 'big boy so beautiful ruddy

the great fault there are only troioni
part of' I am the world 150
and if those most disgusting
or plug the hole
their faces do not be angry
there for you 'Gheyos the eunuch. Great artist I
155
specialist to make a sucking blowjobs
as my
if sognan
in trouble and the hole of my ass
gladly give you a taste 160
force everyone drew the marsh
'cause I give tribute to all.

Blenorreo
gutless bastard pigliainculo
you were born from a union and sow mule
you crawl like a worm in the shit you suck more
165 'of a cock pus lose

Paraculos
not cederem vice overseas bank
riconquistiam cunt that even
gutter talk to the brides in his bed
us strive to persuade them with the trigger 170

Gheyos
little brain have, compared with the large Mandula
you like it so 'little hole in my ass?
What is the difference between running the anus of a pending
and uterus slabrato stinking of urine?
do not ask for this money to provide 175 vil
do not the ass for a living, but only for passion! Col
persuade brides
miss the opportunity to stick the bird in a bucket of ricchione.
Come gentlemen is' stubborn
tappatemi every hole with cocks beefy 180
want to see them all, I want to touch also
very skillful with language they want, then licking
I can assure you that I am a great master trust
Gheyos and you will know soon.

Choir men
That shithead slobbering ricchione 185
gutless but you're a big fool, at the very thought of Thee
bugger
sentiam the need of having to vomit. Let's take it to
slaps, punches and kicks to
'I'm the son of a bitch who broke the 190
spacchiamogli brown teeth to' I'm
ficchiamogli pig bastard in the ass on a cracker!

Paraculos
With this great voices
I feel like farting.

(Roar roaring in the tavern).

Blenorreo
silence and let everyone speak 195
do not listen to that fucking fag ammosciare ago!
We all go home, without further ado
or drop 'on a pall of dust fouls
leap we must make the idea of \u200b\u200bthat crazy
us and we meet tomorrow in the square. 200

(all come from the tavern, while the curtain falls on Act II)

Act Three (The act opens with a scene familiar from Tignes Athenian soldier and his wife Pyrrha, she too Pussy striker)

Pirri
Oh my dear hubby
abstinence from vigorous lighthouse will fo 'do the job for you as' dear
no intercourse, blowjobs and even wanking
henceforth in order to enjoy my beautiful do
jerking your rod slabbraculi he penetrated 205
to enjoy hot and dark in the maze of my soft ass
if the key will make you lust 'the bird hard
I advise you to seize one hundred vials of bromide.

Tignes
Porco Zeus, Ares dog, and Athena
What are great whore 'sti speeches I floscian the banana? 210
my dear Wife I do not say that the battle is subtracted
Sooner to me the great pleasure of plum.
bean paste my strong color of a rose twenty
I can not fucking grief and relentlessly
and you'd like, crazy woman, placed in a coffin 215
this cock hard and strong as the marble of Carrara?

(the two really angry left their homes to converge in the square, where men and women came together to reach a accordo.Giunge Meanwhile a herald from Sparta).

Herald
From Sparta I arrived with the sad news
squares are full of women and maidens
son stufe di guerre, battaglie e tenzoni
si chiudono la fica, ci negano i doni                                       220
a nessun uomo vecchio o giovincello
e' consentito l'uso del poderoso augello.
Da queste collettive e ignobili mattane
ne traggono vantaggio soltanto le puttane !

Sifilistrata
Araldo gran coglione, che cosa parli a fare ?                       225
Io stessa con Lambliasi parlai di questo affare
siam stufe di veder mariti armati sulla biga
percio' calammo tosto un sipario sulla figa.
Finche' di sangue ellenico le valli riempirete
pompini e gran chiavate dimenticar dovrete                    230
se ai vostri sensi maschi vorrete far piacere
ficcatevi l'un l'altro li cazzi nel sedere !
Tignesia
Per Zeus l'altisonante si giunga ad un compromesso
son stufo di stroncarmi di seghe dentro al cesso !

Pirrita
Oh uomini testardi pensate che sia bello,                        235
per noi donne allupate restar senza l'uccello ?
Da tempo ormai remote we are deprived of fava
since you departed our pussy drools.
We decided finally to the penance
'cause no one ever again in the future' face abstinence. 240
So 'if you want the pussy so well
wives never left alone with no penis!

of men Chorus
We understand your lesson
the king goes in the ass, that old fool. You gettin
weapons, shields, helmets 245
suddenly go back to Zompa in the beds.
The bean is 'tough it can not' stay
we drive it into the hole and pump
's Hellenic war between Sparta and Athens for too
separates her pussy and the penis 250
juice ball, also called sperm
long been simmering in each barracks.
After the war, and 'there is a great pleasure
' comparison with Feminea great relief to sit
not march in the mud and 255
'best vibrating pussy the Tamang. If the king wants
Sparta
enemy of Athens that left alone, no holds him.

Sifilistrata
Rejoice Olympus, you will laughing songs
men have lost the challenge 260
the solid union of women in league
has made a service throughout Hellas! A
Thebes and Sparta and sent a messenger
leading news of our success
declare finished the tough 265
blackmail and all go back to locking up like crazy.
also propose 'that from now
just think about the joys of sex
them quickly unsheathed
sian cocks eager to go back to the past as a solace. 270
Pussy In them shall be put strung
are pushed in the mouth, ass in Athens overblown
easily inundated with gallons of sperm
hub is the first stop for those who do!

Herald
What a good 'news is alive 275

father Zeus's ass back to Sparta with joy and
m'ingroppo the mother.

Female choir
Enjoy holy mother was
Hermes messenger
chiaverem run from morning till night 285
there seems true. And the sovereign
heartless
that the world will Diman
sappian always that 'love is good
more' cheerful. 290

Tignes (radiant)
Pussy Oh oh
masterpiece of the noble, gentle, August
hole smooth and curly-haired beardless
that I met at the brothel
garden for more ludo 'joyous 295
return at last to my eager member!

(Everyone gets up to head back to the house while a chorus of exiles from the Magna Grecia that between half-jokingly
Sifilistrata butt of consumer jokes).
Choir
Sifilistrata Arrus cock
open thighs and Suca 'is Zammaro
Sifilistrata chu sticchiu by sciantusa
pricked up his fuck-up to Syracuse 300
(the curtain)

- END -
Note farewell

We sincerely hope that the moralists e i puritani non s'infiammino di sdegno nel leggero quest'opera di Aristofane.
I nostri timori sono dettati dal fatto che la commedia Sifilistrata contiene dei termini volgari il piu' delle volte identificabili negli apparati genitali maschili e femminili.
Riteniamo che nessuno potra' sentirsi offeso o provare biasimo per Aristofane, o addirittura per noi , che abbiamo tradotto e adattato l'opera, in quanto la terminologia volgare che prorompe in Sifilistrata e' il frutto di una fantasia goliardica. Goliarda era forse Aristofane, goliardi siamo sicuramente noi: e' dunque una volgarita' goliardica quella che si incunea tra i versi di Sifilistrata e la lettura di quest'opera non potra' percio' risultare "offensiva" per il comune senso del pudore.
Vulgarity 'goliardic it' s never vulgar 'end in' itself: it tends to dramatize
falsehood 'of a modest, but ALSO' artifact, "modus vivendi" that the company 'requires centuries. Speak freely about sex groped means to shoot down long-standing taboo 'which has always been the' Homo Sapiens "is filled with the burden of the unconscious. Do not tremble so the chaste ears of readers, whom we instead advise you not to dwell on the vulgar term, but to learn from 'work through a careful study of it. And do not even sdegnino lovers and lovers dell'Aristofane classic, because 'the author of Sifilistrata and' the same Aristophanes, perhaps less classic, but certainly more 'collegiate. The two authors


Thanks:
- Gigius Procurator Lacustris, for providing the technical means
- Mustache Wild, for their assistance in order to shorten production time work
- SS Mimmus Primus Alchimicus Venator, for allowing the disclosure of the work
placet - The Company "Tuborg" and "Marlboro Company" for having raised the morale in times of
tired - all the readers who have had the perseverance to read this far .


Footnotes
v.12-"we negate the seed" - a euphemism for sexual relations to highlight the shortage. V.14-
"Mice" - vulgar stands for vagina.
vv.15-16-emphasized the lack of popularity 'that the king enjoyed among women of Athens.
v. 20 - "............. cuckold whore" - refers to all the people of Athens. In fact, if all women are whores, the "conditio sine qua non 'and' that all men are bastards.
v.24 unisex-expression to indicate displeasure. V.36-
"banana" - the form of exotic fruit remembers clearly the male genital organ.
v. 37 - "Retain" - poetic license, for "restraint"
v. 40 - The comparison helps explain the excitement of which women are prey.
v.43-cul ..... bell "- a popular expression to refer to a big effort today and 'often used the expression "'Nu deck a lot."
v. 56 - "gut" - means the anal canal.
v. 70 - "Sheep" - figure of speech to describe a sexually powerful man.
v. 77 - "crazy" - Americanism, comes from "Out Head Off."
v. 82 - "cat" - we want to emphasize the hairiness' of the vulva.
vv. 84-86 - as you can 'see already' in antiquity 'was in use the phrase "women are thinking with the uterus." Aristophanes informs us that the oracle at Delphi was the first to express this opinion. (We forgive ........... feminists do not feel, however, to deny an oracle).
v. 91 - "trigger" - stands for the clitoris.
v. 101 - "Park" - mythical figures that the second tradition govern human destiny.
v. 106 - "Cannon with straw" - read spinel.
v. 114 - "Vibrator" - rough and (usually) a bronze reproduction of the male phallus: see also "self-godeur.
v. 120 - "I tallow" - it should read "I masturbate."
v. 124 - "at least seven" - confirms the virility 'of the Athenians.
v. 130 - "give out" - raving
v. 135 - "pissed off" - vulgar is for "angry, altered."
v. 154 - "Gheyos" - would seem to derive from this name, being a homosexual, the Anglo-Saxon term Gay. (What it is pronounced as Ghei ............... original greek text).
v. 164 - underlines the contempt Gheyos and fed against homosexuals in general.
v. 166 - "pus lose" - reference to gonorrhea.
v.170 - translation difficult, you can 'make even "us strive to persuade their trigger"
v. 173 - "pending" - euphemism for being gay.
v. 178 - "a bucket of ricchione" - it should read "anal canal pederast."
v.186 - pun Gheyos and 'a eunuch, but it is apostrophe as jerk.
v. 190 - "brown" - read the testes.
v. 201 - "Lighthouse" - figure of speech indicates that the luminescence and majesty of the male member.
v. 208 - "bromide" - perhaps in 469 BC, was not known this. The text speaks of a mixture similar to the bromide, so, for clarity, we allowed ourselves the liberty 'of translation.
v. 209 - Examples of ancient curses.
v.212 - always read "vulva"
v. 216 - "Carrara marble" - another poetic license: the original text speaks of blocks of stone of unknown origin.
vv.229-233 - note the impetus that drives Sifilistrata.
v. 246 - "Zompa" - stands for "make love".
v. 254 - the men begin to give way .............
v. 256 - "Tamango" - stands for penis.
v. 271 - "strung" - emphasizes the hardness of the State due to the excitement.
v.278 - the herald of love is shown by the Oedipus complex.
I'm sure that in Laconia
every hard foul and still finding
280 la begonia
di sicuro fara' festa.
vv. 291 - 296 - inno alla fica di Tignesia
v.297 - "arrusa pompinara" - donna licenziosa pratica di fellatio
v. 298 - "zammara" - leggasi pene
v. 299 - " sticchiu" - vagina, "sciantusa" - si legga altezzosa.

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